Whether we like it or not, I truly believe that we each have an intrinsic desire to be known; in fact, I absolutely insist that we each were created to be known. 1st Corinthians 8:3 says:
Oftentimes, my first response is to ignore and suppress - put it on the back burner until I have time to process obsessively and analytically. I rebuke myself for being so weak. I tell myself to buck up. I remind myself that all of us here are in the same boat...and it will happen all over again when we're on the same ship (see what I did there?). I remind myself that I chose this, and that my decision was informed. In short, I condemn myself for desiring the things that God created me to long for.
Wow - that is what finally stops me in my tracks. In a desire to make the situation more bearable, more easily endured, I deny my own God-given desires. In an attempt to pretend that my heart is not the least bit saddened by the separation from those I love, I tell myself that being the way God created me to be is not what will serve me best.
In doing so, I dishonor myself, my community and my God. I dishonor myself by attempting to convince myself that the person I have become is somehow weaker than the person I was when I lived life as an island. I dishonor my community by pretending that the relationships we have are not worth missing, and that the distance is not worth grieving. Most importantly, I dishonor my God by pretending that I know the best way for me to get through this, and that I apparently do not need to be in community; I dishonor Him by failing to rejoice in the truth that even if I were standing on a literal, deserted island, I would still be in community - held firmly in the loving hands of my Savior, in unbreakable community with my triune God. So I repent. I ask for His forgiveness...for His strength...for His presence. I ask Him to bless this new community I am becoming a part of. I ask Him to mend my little, sad heart...and the hearts of my teammates who are smack dab in the middle of the same mess I am in...and I beg Him to not let me forget that He created me this way so that I could know and be known by Him...so that I could love and be loved by Him.
"...if anyone loves God, he is known by God."God created us to be in relationship with Him, to love Him, to know and be known by Him; furthermore, He created us to also love and know and to be loved and known by one another. Here's a quote from Tim Keller's book The Meaning of Marriage:
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”So what do you do when you find yourself apart from the community that loves and knows you? To get more honest and personal: what have I done now that I am apart from the community that loves and knows me?
Oftentimes, my first response is to ignore and suppress - put it on the back burner until I have time to process obsessively and analytically. I rebuke myself for being so weak. I tell myself to buck up. I remind myself that all of us here are in the same boat...and it will happen all over again when we're on the same ship (see what I did there?). I remind myself that I chose this, and that my decision was informed. In short, I condemn myself for desiring the things that God created me to long for.
Wow - that is what finally stops me in my tracks. In a desire to make the situation more bearable, more easily endured, I deny my own God-given desires. In an attempt to pretend that my heart is not the least bit saddened by the separation from those I love, I tell myself that being the way God created me to be is not what will serve me best.
In doing so, I dishonor myself, my community and my God. I dishonor myself by attempting to convince myself that the person I have become is somehow weaker than the person I was when I lived life as an island. I dishonor my community by pretending that the relationships we have are not worth missing, and that the distance is not worth grieving. Most importantly, I dishonor my God by pretending that I know the best way for me to get through this, and that I apparently do not need to be in community; I dishonor Him by failing to rejoice in the truth that even if I were standing on a literal, deserted island, I would still be in community - held firmly in the loving hands of my Savior, in unbreakable community with my triune God. So I repent. I ask for His forgiveness...for His strength...for His presence. I ask Him to bless this new community I am becoming a part of. I ask Him to mend my little, sad heart...and the hearts of my teammates who are smack dab in the middle of the same mess I am in...and I beg Him to not let me forget that He created me this way so that I could know and be known by Him...so that I could love and be loved by Him.